Jessica (byathread) wrote,
Jessica
byathread

It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember we're alive for the first time

so i think im still hungover....yes thats three days of waking up drunk...

i have no idea how i used to do this on a daily basis...no clue

so we'll start with friday...i worked, then had to rush to west chester to get certified in CPR...where i am now required by law to breath life into you if i see that you are not doing it by yourself...see i might be a valuable asset to have around...so then i came home around 10...made some food..then got bored and thirsty so i decided to go to old state...by myself...yeah whatever im a loser...lisa and brian were of course working on my night off....but i was only gonna go for an hour till brian got home...but i ended up sitting there for an hour by myself nursing my beer and not smoking...can you belive it...ive smoked like 4 cigarettes all week...and that was only during my party. ...but then my mom comes in...and for 30 min of this hour theres this real drunk guy across the bar yelling to the old man sitting next to me that he should have my number...and then the now bartender who i dont know starts trying to protect me...then my mom comes and knows the old man sitting next to me...then like 5 min after she sits down i see mark's tall skinny self walk into the bathroom...so i know that ill have someone good to talk to...

plus even if he is my ex boyfriend

i feel totally bad like i ripped the kids heart out cause a week after he told me he loved me i broke up with him on the phone while driving to craigs saying that i dont want a boyfriend and then the next time he sees me im coincidentally with the same guy that i am with now. and i always feel stupid for thinking this cause really he could be like dont flatter yourself jess i dont like you anymore...which i would totally belive but apparently this isnt how it works with boys and girls..or only in my boy girl reality is how stuff like this works...

he is one of my alltime favorite people...i havent seen him in a couple of months and the last time i did he rushed out of the bar as soon as i sat across from him with lisa..and the week before when i was talking to him he was telling me about moving to new york...so i thought that he moved away and i was never going to get to see him again...and that totally sucks cause i mean by being a girlfriend apparently your not supposed to hang out with your ex boyfriends even if you dont want them anymore...its just not what your supposed to do..so since i cant hang out with him...which is what i totally want to do because he always had something fun for us to do and pretty much introduced me to all the music that i listen to now....i can at least "run into him" at old state cause thats one of the three bars i go to and marks main bar.

but so anyway he showed up and sat next to me...which was good cause then i dont have to do the whole now i cant go talk to him cause he doesnt want to talk to me crap...and he ends up talking to my mom for an hour about people they know from the old state...marks 29 and has been an old state drinker ( i dont know how else to say it) going there since he was 18. which is about when my mom was going all the time...so then she starts talking and me and mark start talking apparently neither of us has done much but i know hes lying cause he always did stuff...he just never relly considered it doing stuff if you know what i mean...and then so we got kicked out of the bar...and i walked and he offered me a ride but i wanted to walk...so he walked me home and came inside..

now the whole real reason that i dumped mark wasnt because i didnt want a boyfriend...cause i did i wanted brian...pretty much the entire time i was with mark..i was wanting brian...but me and mark were only together like 4 months not a long time...but long enough..but in those four months neither of us met our parents or went into each others houses...which i found to be extremely strange..and all we ever did was get real drunk...i never told him this though..cause i thought it was rude..or weird..

so he came in and we hung out some more...then my mom was going to bed, he was leaving and i was going to brians and who i hadnt mentioned much this entire time...not because i want mark or anything like that but because i feel bad about how i broke up with mark..and so i told him im going to my boyfriends house and told him he couldnt not be my friend because i had a boyfriend and he asked me if it was the same guy and i said yes...and he said ok..and we pinky swore ..hugged .and we went our seperate ways.i guess that its ok if its the same guy just not if im sleeping wtih like ten guys...but that would make sense to me in my mentality so.

so my mom also invited him to my party...he said hed try to come...he didnt come but he left flowers and a card on the winshield of my car...which made me happy

so then my party was supposed to be saturday..the family party..but it was raining and my house is small so we moved it to sunday and just had my friend party on saturday night...i made a vegetable plate and chips and dip and cupcakes and my mom made meatball sandwhichs...and when everyone was eating i got pissed at not having more food for myself to eat cause all i got was some carrot sticks..but then i got real drunk i assume every one else was too...i know lisa was..and lisha ...cause lisha did her i miss you stuff which lisha gets lovey when she gets drunk and lisa did apparently too cause she told me mom that she loves me and my mom cant ruin my party and all this cause my mom does things like that...and dude lisa gave me 50$...how fucking cool is she man...bought me a textbook...and my mom got new carpets 2 weeks ago and there kinda white...and someone got mud on them...so lisa had to vacume my house at 2 am...and around 3 my sister came home with the jack lalane juicer...how fucking cool is she..which i wanted cause i really like carrot juice. but its too expensive to buy all the time....so we made juice at 3 am...meg and aaron came for a little while and meg graduated in summer when i did too and she just got a job at TV guide and she has her own cubicle. and jen and her boyfriend came...and brian sheridan came...i like him...he looks like he wouldnt be so nice but he is...but i already knew this from hanging out with him before but forgot or something...anyway...and apparently i was smashed...which im sure i was...i had at least 6 shots of tequilla which will fuck anyone up and a whole bunch of my cranberry and vodka drinks...i still have yet to see my baby fitshaced drunk...which i really want to see ...but he says he usually has to take care of something (or someone, usually being me) so thats why he doesnt drink that much...it was good...but man i was still drunk when i woke up the next day at 9am

which was sunday my party day...and everone was coming at 3 so i knew my mom wanted help...so i came home around ten...and at bread and spagetti sauce cause afeter seeing everyone eating the meatballs i wanted a meatball sandwich that wasnt once alive..so i had sauce ...then pased out till 12 and had a horrible hangover when i woke up...but went to acme got some stuff..and fake meatballs...and a coffee..a shot of expresso took a shower and was ok...so then we got everything ready and everyone came..i was not up for greating all these people...i had like 30 pictures taken of me from my dads dad..who i havent seen since i was 8 years old...thats 14 years...and all he gave me was 50$... me and my mom and aunt karin were very offended...if you missed 14 birthdays and christmass and i am now the first grandchild to graduate college...actually the first person on that side of the family to graduate college...come on now old man...i may have to do your iv someday ...and i saw my aunt linda..who i look just like...me and my sister...its kinda scary...and then just the regualr people for sunday dinner..
poor brian...hes not good at these things to begin with..he was real uncomfortable.
i told him for saturady when he was nervous..that i would attatch him to my hip to hed be ok..and saturday was fine because i wasnt uncomfortable...but then i was on sunday...so he was even more so..but we got through it....hes such a good sport...his entire weekend he had to spend here and it wasnt very relaxing...see this is why i love my baby...cause hes good to me...when he doenst want to be and does things he doesnt like to do...and he still likes me and doesnt make me feel bad...and still hugs me all night while we sleep.

and i got alot of money...for this semester...i feel a little bettercause i have some money...considering i cant work

speaking of work tuesdays my last day...maybe i havent decided...i want to work friday nights..but i dont know if i can yet and want off like 2 weeks to see but ralphs a dick and said no you need to be aviable when i need you to be available...so fuck him he can work 6 days a week for the next 6 weeks till he gets a manager..dick...but i cant tell him for sure because what if i have clinical of friday nights or something...

ahh anyway this is already way to long...there like ten thousand other things i could say but dont feel like typing
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 0 comments